Relationship: Symphony of Give and Take and other things

what is the relationship that you carry with yourself but don't follow the same rules when you are involved with others. 

The relationship in which you are involved with yourself ,you and your inner voice always adjusts to the external factors with rebel kid having a squeaky voice in background that is 99% of time unheard. 

You often think tomorrow I will do this for myself and that tomorrow never comes cause in this type of relationship. You are never your own priority. This is often seen in women( speaking from experience on this earth, no reference to other genders) , for them they are the last priority and thus relationship with themselves get dissolved with time. Its always them over YOU. Isn't it. But why?

The saddest part is over a period of time you forget who is the other you in this relationship, is it me or someone I knew few years back. You spend most of the years remembering the other YOU who was fun, charismatic and many more things you desire today. 

If I could say"Hello" to my older self today, I don't think I will have that confidence to even stand in front of her. She was fierce, wanted to achieve so much, knew how to be happy, knew how to make friends. When she stepped in a room, she had that charisma to turn heads. Such was other "ME". But I now realize, I no more see her. 

The other day someone asked me "What do I like to eat". I thought to myself taking a long pause.

This situation has not come in one day, it is a segregation of several seconds that I spent neglecting myself and following others when I really didn't want to. The funniest part is "No one asked me to do all those things " , I did it bound by my experience of seeing generations of women doing it forever in my family.

The bird realised it got wings, flew and then came back to ground and forgot she has wings. 

I often wonder if those relationships we share with others are purely give and take. It even hurts to see a flower given in expectation of receiving a flower. Moving into my thirties, I now realise I have not evolved physically but relationships have evolved as well. 

I as a person, never appreciated give and take of a relationship. It should be without any expectations of receiving anything in return but respect and good behaviour at the least. 

Cause If I want a flower, I can buy myself one. 

It just teaches me one thing, I need to be loyal in my relationship with "ME".

Cause at the end of day, its only YOU and YOU together.